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My Magazine > Editors Archive > Advice > Gangbang Comic Relief
Gangbang Comic Relief   by C.J. Watson

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Text:  







<== We want to hear you sing, little girl.






Visual: 5/5
Audio: 5/5
Quality of Scenes: 3.9/5



Pluses and Minuses: The Gangbang Squad franchise is one of the naughty, and extremely successful, ventures of the Pink Visual Porn Studio. You may not be familiar with the studio's name, but if you occasionally feed a minor fixation with watching hot young twats and pouty mouths getting fucked, chances are you've seen some of Pink Visual's gonzo style work (reality porn).

The Adult Video Network nominated studio (which is like winning an Emmy in the world of fuck flicks) is the same company that delivers the virginal ass-pounding of some of today's hottest porn starlets in Her First Anal Sex. Pink Visual also prides itself on getting old farts fucked, by nineteen year olds with perky tits no less, in Teens For Cash.

And if you're a carpet munching fan, you'll love watching porn hotties like fiery natural redhead Felix Vicious and the luscious Ice La Fox dive into the unassuming pussies of strange girls for a refreshing lick in Her First Lesbian Sex. Judging from the way they wield those penises made of plastic, "her first lesbian sex" is probably more like her fiftieth.

Now if you've never watched a Pink Visual production in your life, you've probably never heard of the studio's comedic take on seducing neighborhood girls into group sex with a bunch of strange, sweaty and beefy guys in the Gangbang Squad series. Most of the Gangbang features star the untouchable antics and Olympic style fucking from the thickest man in porn, Sledgehammer, often accompanied by other adult industry long stroker, Shane D.

But Gangbang Squad 7 is more than a feature about guys with unnaturally large cocks stuffing the holes of pop music icon lookalikes. It's a public service announcement, you know, like the ones the Reagan administration tormented the American public with back in the eighties. Rather than following suit with other PSAs and encouraging guys watching porn in a dark corner of the basement to "Just Say No To Smut," the Gangbang Squad emerges like Black versions of Superman to teach young tramps the dangers of meeting guys at the bus stop and then spending the next hour gobbling down their dicks. You might just end up ass naked locked in the middle of a dank hallway with cum dripping from your chin.

The Action:

Scene 1:
Shane D is a Brotha with a thing for little White girls in tulip skirts. There's something about flat asses that he just can't resist (no offense). So in this first excursion, Shane and Jonas, the never seen on screen director of this venture, waste no time picking up dark-haired Sicilian beauty, Katrina, as she waits for a bus to take her to retail job across town.

The guys tell Kat that they're doing a survey and would be willing to pay top dollar for an hour of her time. That's code for, "We want to capture you on film getting your brains fucked out." And considering that the sales girl is only pulling in about eight bucks an hour, it doesn't take much arm-twisting to get her into the late-eighties model Econovan.

During the pre-fuck interview, Katrina complains to the four cocks filling the room, that she loves to experiment and just can't seem to get her meat the way she likes it. (Insert sad face for Katrina). The guys all challenge Katrina to take off her top, she ignores. And then they get Ben Franklin to ask-and the perky bust with brown nipples pops right out of that shirt.

Katrina is offered more money if she's willing to use her mouth for more sucking and less talking, and for a couple more hundreds Katrina's on her knees blowing the four guys faster than you can say, "Fuck her in the ass!" Oh yeah, they do that too. But not before she has a really hard time taking Sledgehammer's, well, his sledgehammer. You can literally see it stretching her tight twat. It doesn't take her long to get used to all the attention and she even ends up coming all over Shane's dick while her bubbly ass hits his midsection.

"The Bus Whore," as the guys begin to call her screams out in lust -- although they're kinda muffled with the huge cock tickling her tonsils. Kat finally gets her completely stuffed, mouth, pussy and asshole after she's been turned every which way but loose. By this time, the retail employee is covered in sweat and ready to take four large loads of jizz all over her face, well five actually, Shane busted nut twice. She even takes some down that slutty little throat of hers.

Katrina's face is drenched in moisture. Hey, it's hard to gobble cocks in the shitter, twat and trap and keep your mascara from running at the same time. The guys offer to escort her to the shower to "freshen up." The shower ends up being the other side of the front door. The guys are rolling on the floor laughing as Katrina bams on the door pleading for her clothes, her designer handbag-man, she'll even settle for a towel. As Little Richard would say, "You keep on knocking but you can't come in!"

Next Up: Shane's friend Michelle just broke up with her boyfriend. Ok, more like he kicked her ass to the curb, as they used to say back in the nineties. Michelle is a classic blonde beauty. Buddy Shane rushes to her apartment to cheer her up-with two friends in tow. Gee, wonder how this is going to turn out?

The guys have the dumpee acting as a human cum dump in no time. And boy does she have a mouth on her -- Michelle was able to fit all three grithy (no, that's not a word) into her mouth at once. By the end of the fuckfest Michelle didn't even remember her ex's name, unless he goes by "Oh fuck yeah, fuck my fucking ass!" WTF was this guy thinking, jumping ship on a girl that loves getting her pussy, ass and mouth stuffed?

Ladies, Michelle may have discovered the cure for a broken heart. Fuck as many of his buddies as you can -- at the same time. Just try not to get locked out in the hallway.

Final Scene: The last scene features late teenage beauty, Chelsea. She's the covergirl of this vehicle. And just like many models, the bitch is dumber than a box of rocks. On the upside, she's smarter than her celebrity double, Britney Spears, but that's probably not saying much.

Chelsea's an aspiring singer who can't hold a note. Needless to say, she's selling flowers on the side of a secluded California road. The guys pretend to be music executives managing Sledgehammer, a jazz guitarist, and they want to put Chelsea in one of their videos.

Since when do jazz performers have music videos, this isn't Fat Joe? Only in porn would some dumb broad pick up that line. (So single guys please don't try it.) Chelsea jumps at the chance to go back to the house and "audition." (Insert deep sigh) Well...we all see where Chelsea's going to end up. Such a shame. She was such a pretty girl.

Well Brit's porn twin proved she's not that innocent either. Chelsea and her perky package of small tits and flowing blonde hair moaning over four dicks at once. She relished in being chock full of cock in her mouth as she shook in a muscle-clenching orgasm. But nothing gets this little cutie off faster than a round of DP.

Chelsea assumes the position she knows best, on her knees, while the guys line her adorable face with thick nutt. Just as the Squad is about to lead Chelsea to "the shower," Sledgehammer decides this ass is just too special to send packing, cum covered and shielded by leaves. Chelsea's glad to be one of the chosen few. They all live happily ever after. Until the next green eighteen year old starts peddling flowers on the wrong side of the road. Hooray for happy endings.

CJ Says: This flick offers the pristine balance between hot scenes, DP's, naughty girls and a little laughter to wash it all down with. The series is great if you have a spouse that's a little squeamish about watching porn with you, or at all. They'll be so busy laughing at the cheesy set-up and the naive vamps that go along with them, that they'll be a lot more comfortable sitting through the fuck scenes with you. Hey, they'll stick around just watch the girl get shoved out of the door.

Not only is Gangbang Squad 7 highly recommended for its content, it may be a great addition to the American college curriculum. In fact, every college girl should see it. Hopefully, they'll learn that you never leave home for a gangbang without your own transportation, a towel and a change of clothes tucked neatly in the truck.


C.J. Watson is a twenty-something college co-ed from the Southeastern United States. A self-proclaimed spoiled Ebony princess, C.J has been writing professionally for thirteen years and has aspirations of someday becoming a New York City columnist. She loves fashion, dogs and strawberries and hates thin dicks.