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My Blog
Riders on the Storm
Posted:Jul 29, 2020 7:08 am
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2020 9:39 am
5952 Views

Putting you on hold:

"bab de doo bab bab bah The Girl from Ipanema"

Yes Part 1 of my ongoing revamp...music whilst you wait 2 be connected 2 the blog post.

Drum roll...of course...the great old jokes remain:

Did you hear about the thoughtful Scotsman heading out 2 the pub?

He turned 2 his wife before leaving and said, ‘Jackie – put your hat and coat on.’

She replied, ‘Awe Iain that’s nice – are you taking me 2 the pub with you?’

‘Nah, I’m just switching the central heating off while I’m out.’

ker ching...I don't really think our friends north of the border are careful with their money

and now the question...

...we've all heard about the weird and wonderful riders that performers require on tap at a venue...

...M&Ms with all the blue ones removed...8 bottles of Jack Daniels, a talking parrot, temperature in the dressing room be permanently set at 26.4 degrees etc etc etc...

So dear readers what things would be on your rider?

...and now some lovely ladies...noooooo....Part 2 of the ongoing revamp...no more lovely ladies...my Equalities Committee has declared them inappropriate for 2020 and displaying female flesh seemed so out of step with this site...

Previous blogs remain up for perusal and comment.
5 Comments
Wanderlust
Posted:Jul 25, 2020 7:15 am
Last Updated:Jul 29, 2020 8:38 am
5914 Views
You know the drill...

...here we go...

...with the usual grand opening to a post...

...those great old jokes...

I've just written a song about tortillas - actually, it's more of a .

My friend claims that he "accidentally" glued himself to his autobiography, I don't believe him. But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.

Okay on to today's question...if you had to live in another country for a year...which one would it be and why?

and now some writings from ancient Greek philosophy...no of course not silly....

...but for perhaps the final time as I am thinking of a revamp to the format of the posts...

...and if truth be told I grow bored and weary of all the internet research...

...here are some random English Roses that others around the world may not be familiar with...

Maya Jama



Rachel Riley



Helen Flanagan



Michelle Keegan

[image4}

Other posts remain up for browsing and comment...
7 Comments
The Condemned Cell
Posted:Jul 22, 2020 7:29 am
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2020 8:32 am
5982 Views
First get rid of the opening lines where the words often disappear...

...bear with...

...soon be done...

...and now the traditional opening of a blog...

...some great old jokes...should I be worried that I spend more time on the jokes for these blogs than I do researching the lovely women that also feature in the blogs?

As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way, I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

OK now on to the question...you are in the condemned cell...what's your last meal...go on knock yourselves out...whatever you want...a starter, mains, sides, dessert. whatever it may be...however many courses...I'll even throw in a drink of your choice...

...and now some more ladies who get better with age...

Jennifer Beales - not a fan of the outfit tho Jen



Gillian Anderson - Gillian is out there as is the truth



Julianne Moore - just saw a not great film of hers...'Maps to the Stars' but check out the threesome scene about 30 minutes in...bit of girl on girl action thrown in



Naomi Watts - G'day Naomi



As always previous posts remain up for perusal and comment...
4 Comments
Do The Shuffle
Posted:Jul 15, 2020 6:58 am
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2020 4:26 am
6472 Views
You know the drill from previous posts...

Get rid of those pesky opening sentences...why do words go missing here?

And now, drumroll...another joke of the day...

here we go...

What do you call a singing laptop?

A Dell

go ahead ...and another...

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a …. dog

Think about that one...yep...there you go...

OK put your device of choice on and let rip your music playlist on shuffle...what tunes come out then as your first 3 ...and no filtering out the songs you are ashamed of in favour of something trendy...be honest now...

Mine...well seeing as you ask?...from the many hundreds of songs on mine...

1. Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

2. You Don't Know Me - Ray Charles

3. Manic Monday - The Bangles ( Susanna Hoffs - swoons)

and now we interrupt this broadcast for an urgent naked Margot Robbie...



and another, inspired by the songs above...

Susanna Hoffs then...



and 30 years later equally lovely now...

3 Comments
The Invisible Wall, a Pair of Olivia's and a Mimi
Posted:Jul 7, 2020 7:21 am
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2020 12:02 am
6383 Views
This site is toying with me now...

...as you know, those classic old jokes used to take pride of place at the top of each posting but then I noticed random words always disappeared from the first couple of paragraphs thus ruining those lovingly crafted jokes.

So to get round this, I began to waffle on for a bit for the first few sentences then pow, the great gags...ha I had them beat...

and then...

...words in my last post started disappearing in the final paragraphs...so who knows what you are about to read ???

Anyway now the jokes...a little more risque than usual...

My wife came out of the shower and said in a sexy voice "I've shaved my pussy for you, you know what that means tonight?" I said "yeah, I'm gonna have to unclog the drain again."

What’s the difference between a paycheck and a penis?... You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

Something struck me...what do you mean ladies..."Hope it was something hard after those sexist jokes"...

...are there two very distinct populations on this site?...is there an invisible wall between the bloggers and those whose purpose on here is solely to to find a second, third, fourth or indeed a 25th to join them in the bedroom?

I am not sure this is global and is based primarily from observing profiles in the admittedly very quiet UK (same old faces, same old...insert body part here).

Profiles on here, be it through their photo albums or the wording of their profile that indicate sexual success from the rampant to the dipped toe in the water, never have any activity in blogland, they do not post blogs not even of their own exploits in the boudoir to make others envious...they do not appear on the list of recent visitors to any blogs, no comments on blogs anywhere...very much a zero presence in blogland.

Maybe they are all just too exhausted?

On the other side of the coin, most bloggers on here primarily appear to be here to, well to do exactly that...blog, although given the wide range of forums on the internet for blogging, this site seems an unusual choice to air your thoughts on a range of general topics.

Some post things like their favourite song lyrics or poetry, their thoughts on a personal issue or global event, those blogs with a little more sexual content are mainly the nude selfie where a woman, much to our gratitude, posts photographs of herself.

Maybe those who find this site a playground of sexual opportunity and end up beneath a pile of naked bodies coincidentally all just don't have the time amidst the sexual shenanigans or feel the need to blog.

Perhaps you are a blogger who is still looking for some sexual stimulation but in the absence of anything suitable, you pass the time by writing, perhaps you have given up looking but stayed on the site to use this platform for your writing, perhaps you never had the intention of meeting anyone and just enjoy the online adult social contact with those who comment on your blog or you on theirs?

Or maybe there is no invisible wall and you juggle successfully your writing and the encounters you have through this site.

Opinions from you, be they general or personal most welcome...other posts remain up for viewing and comment and now, yes gentlemen, wading through all of that wasn't in vain...it's time for the lovely ladies...

Olivia Munn







Olivia Wilde







Mimi Rogers





2 Comments
Lights ! Camera !! Action !!!
Posted:Jul 4, 2020 6:52 am
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2020 12:03 am
7130 Views
As is the case now, the traditional posting of an joke of the day is a couple of sentences down.

This is get round the fact that on occasion, random words seem disappear from the first couple of sentences on a posting.

There that should do it?...

fingers crossed...

here we go...

A pair of television aerials recently got married... the ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

Do you want another?...of course you do.

I was walking down the road when I saw a television for sale in a shop window. The sign said "TV cheap, broken volume button"...
...I thought to myself "wow, I can't turn that down."

Now before the main point of the post, I begin with a message to my friends across the pond as I understand that over there today it is something called 'Independence Day.'

Mind you every day of the year, in some country, somewhere in the world they are marking independence from the British, we were the 17th century equivalent of Miss World as her interests were always "travel and meeting new people"...ok ok…

...make that "British interests were travel and thieving everyone's stuff !"...but with impeccable manners...we always said thank you in a very nice accent as we scarpered with their chests of jewels and gold.

Now I understand that in the good ol USA they mark our departure in the traditional way and through the ultimate act of defiance continuing to quietly removing the letter 'u' from the English language...forget throwing tea into Boston Harbour (note the 'u' tinkering with our spelling is the ultimate insult and by the way it's colour and valour !

If it rains what are you Americans going to put up...an mbrella????...anyway have a jolly, super day.

On to my main point...during lockdown, I like you no doubt, consumed many films to pass the time. One such film which I revisited after many was 'About A Boy'...one of Hugh Grant's best as he escaped the mediocre rom coms he started churning out.

I thought how similar I am Hugh Grant's character, no silly, sadly minus his looks and even more sadly minus his real life girlfriend at the time, Liz Hurley, bouncing up and down on me.

Hugh's character was quite happy with his own company, no commitments, drifting along slightly at odds with the norm, happy head off in another direction from everyone else..."I'm an an island" quote him in the film...and I guess I am too.

So dear readers, which cinematic role could you seamlessly fill and why?

Ladies maybe you are a Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's or a Ripley from Aliens?

Gentlemen maybe you are a John Rambo or maybe a Garth from Wayne's World?

Do tell.....

First man to claim he could fill the role of John Holmes in his films is disqualified.

and now the second in an extra feature to accompany each posting...a celebrity crush who happened to randomly pop into my head whilst typing this...drum roll...Susanna Reid...anyone who looks like this after many hosting Good Morning Britain at 6 in the morning AND with Piers Morgan deserves a place on my roll of honour...







It's the weekend...have another that's popped in my head...the rather obscure, I said they were random...A J Odudu...who occasionally pops up on our screens as a not particularly great tv presenter...last time I saw her on television over here she was on Celebrity First Dates looking for a man...

so A J ...if you're still looking...call me...and I take it back about your skills as a tv presenter if you do.







Regards SOP
3 Comments
Hmmm Wonder_ful !!! and Random Celebrity Crush #1
Posted:Jun 30, 2020 7:54 am
Last Updated:Jul 5, 2020 7:29 am
6774 Views
I'm wise to the foibles of this site now.

I normally begin each posting with an old joke of the day but for reasons unknown, random words always seem to disappear from the first couple of sentences on a post and I don't want a cracking joke ruined.

So bear with me whilst I put up these opening sentences to get round this issue, I will not be defeated !

That should be enough, what do you think?...let's try...and now an old joke of the day...

I said to the gym instructor: "Can you teach me to do the splits? ’"

He said "How flexible are you?"

I said "I can’t make Tuesdays."

Go on...one more...

"I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don't pay it back, I'm going to get repossessed"

I wonder?...if any man on here with a standard membership has ever received a flirt from a woman half his age, 3,000 miles away and thought "Oooh she's really in to me, I must get the credit card out and upgrade so I can contact her."...I wonder?

I wonder?...if my libido has dwindled when I find myself admiring a piece of interior design in a profile photo on here instead of the naked woman or I think to myself that wardrobe in the background needs tidying up...I wonder?

I wonder?...how many women with profiles on this site...know they have a profile on this site?...I wonder?

I wonder?...if that 33 year old housewife who e-mailed me on here looking for some "hot and steamy action" appreciated the ironing I sent her?...I wonder?

I wonder?...if I am cut out for an orgy...there was once a documentary on tv here, featuring a couple who hosted dinner parties with a bit of frisky fun time afterwards.
As the meal concluded the four couples made their way from the dining area into the more comfy surroundings of the living room area. Not before too long the clothes were coming off but I remember all I could think about as I observed a naked man standing in front of two of the now naked women kneeling in front of him:

"They've just had a fish course! and they haven't disposed of the leftovers, that's just sitting there stagnating AND they haven't even put the pots and pans into soak...eeeeek! " ...could I take part in an orgy?...I wonder?

I might post some more wonderings shortly, in the meantime...what are you wondering?...do tell?...go on, you know you want to...

and no you can't say "I'm wondering why I'm reading this rubbish?"

and now a sight for sore eyes...my first in an extra feature to accompany each posting...a random celebrity crush beginning with and in no particular order...drum roll...Liz Hurley...not sure Liz is much of an actress...but frankly who cares...
and as you can see below looks just as good in her 50s as she did 25 years ago when she wore 'that dress'...





3 Comments
Initial Fumblings
Posted:Jun 28, 2020 5:31 am
Last Updated:Jun 30, 2020 7:55 am
7233 Views
I normally begin a posting with a joke of the day but due this silly site's formatting randomly removing words from the top of the page I have moved those gems to the end of the posting.:

An acronym is a word formed from the initials of a longer name or phrase, using individual initial letters, as in NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration) or LOL (Laugh Out Loud).

Acronyms are pretty common on here, BBC, TV/TG/TS, BDSM, MFMF, MILF.

So what would be your current acronym on here based on your current status or mood and if you're feeling bold what do the letters stand for?...maybe you are a

DVBD - Depressed Vibrator Batteries Dead or
DRTK - Dancing Round The Kitchen

Who knows you may introduce an acronym that others will pick ?

and now a lovely lady...



What the hell...have another one...



My ex-girlfriend would always ask me to text her when I got in...that’s how small my penis is !

Last year on holiday in Australia I saw a street performer playing the song Dancing Queen on a Didgeridoo...I thought, that's ABBAriginal.

Think about it?...Yep...there you go. You're welcome.

Other postings remain for viewing and comments.

Regards SOP
4 Comments
Hobby Ideas - Productive Use of Time
Posted:Jun 25, 2020 7:41 am
Last Updated:Jun 27, 2020 5:17 am
7082 Views
As always with a posting, we start with a joke of the day:

"I've decided sell my vacuum cleaner… well, it was just collecting dust."

We have but a short time upon this earth and you have make your mark and I don't judge how you do it.

Browsing a website of an adult nature last night, I noticed a contribution from a gentleman, of course it was a man!...sorry ladies you just wouldn't be able come with ideas like this?...and not for the reason that will become apparent.

Sir had his own album featuring a huge number of pictures of female celebrities that he had printed off, then taking his erection in hand, he directed the tip of said erection towards the mouth of each lady, lovingly photographing them in turn so he could see vaguely what it would look like if the various lovely ladies were giving him oral sex.

Some cry foul? Some cry genius?

Do you have any unusual hobbies like this or know of anyone who does?...and now, a lovely lady.



Have fun.

SOP.
4 Comments
Unexpected Orgasm in Strange Places
Posted:Jun 21, 2020 7:36 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2020 7:52 am
6698 Views

First as will become the norm in these postings, an joke of the day.

Q. How do you make a pool table laugh?

A. Reach inside its pockets and tickle its balls.

This morning I made scrambled eggs on toast, I put the pan into soak and went off to have my breakfast. Once I had eaten, the dreadful realisation came over me that it was time to face the pan and attempt the long battle to get the remnants of the scrambled eggs removed.

I poured out the soapy water and there it was...an almost totally clean bottom of the pan, a quick refill of water some washing up liquid, a few wipes with the scourer and voila...all clean...just like that!.

Not gonna lie, its been a while since I had felt such a satisfied, warm, orgasmic feeling all over as I did seeing that pristine pan with such little effort as I stood in the kitchen.

Anyone else felt an almost sexual satisfaction at the mundane?...do tell?

Previous posts still up for view and comment. They are getting a bit dusty tho.

SOP.
2 Comments
Caught Red Handed !!!!
Posted:Jun 20, 2020 1:39 am
Last Updated:Jun 22, 2020 7:52 am
7073 Views

Joke of the Day:

I wonder if the receptionist at the sperm bank ever uses the phrase “Thanks for coming” ?

Whilst I am pondering the next 'Women I Adore' tribute I thought I would post about an experience I had yesterday.

So I'm in the queue outside Marks and Sparks, well it was Friday so I fancied something yummy for dinner. A Range Rover pulls into the car park and out she gets. A lithe, very attractive woman in her 40s I would guess, sunglasses perched atop a tied pile of long, brown hair, she was tanned and wearing jeans that, quote a well worn phrase, must have been sprayed so tight were they and she had an equally tight white t-shirt.

Now I'm not particularly a boob man, don't get wrong I appreciate them in their many different forms but these were absolutely fantastic and emphasised by that tight white t-shirt which clung them, not porn star big that is definitely not my thing, but they were large and firm. She either had a very talented plastic surgeon or a wonderfully fitting and supportive bra.

I was so captivated by this overall vision of gorgeousness that I neglected use the typical methods of subtly gazing at women...the pretending look at something else vaguely in her direction or the side glance as she passes, I am sure you have your own techniques.

I just looked and kept looking almost hypnotised.... I know !!! Anyway she cast her eye along the queue and clearly noticed my appreciation of her as I found her returning my look as she passed and headed towards the back of the queue I did one last sideways discreet glance at her as she passed me and noticed that she gave a little smile to herself.

I think she was saying to me, without words " go on then you loser, you can have a little peep at me "

I wonder if that outfit was just thrown on for the shopping or did she slip on that t-shirt, look in the mirror and think "Yep I'm wearing this, my tits look great in this"

Who knows the ways of women?

Anyway Madam, in the unlikely event you read this, Thank Yooooooouuuuuuu."

Anyone else had a memorable brief encounter...do tell?
1 comment
Women I Adore Tribute #2
Posted:Jun 18, 2020 2:03 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2020 2:40 am
7198 Views
Welcome the second of my postings which will feature pictorials of women I, well frankly just have the hots for... simple as that.

Some well known, some a little off the beat and track, some I have long term admiration, some will be a passing fancy.

The postings of these women are in no particular order of preference and I have found other more delightful pictures available but am just resolving formatting issues so I will replace existing pictures with something even more alluring so if you enjoy this posting first time round be sure to pop back again in the future as there may be new feasts for the eyes.

Like most horny teenage boys in the UK in the late 1970s and early 1980s, my access the female form was primarily through the famed Page 3 girl in a popular national newspaper and of course I had my favourites from that era who no doubt will appear in future postings.

Tracy Dixon was of a slightly later Page 3 girl era so she was off my radar and came to my attention a couple of ago as she was innocently caught up in a sleazy story that british tabloids so enjoy and having seen how sexy she was now in her early 50s as you will see below, I of course researched some of her earlier work, just for you of course!

Tracy walked the path of many Page 3 girls, beginning with the traditional topless pictures:









and then no doubt when her profile had become such that she could command a suitable fee for revealing all she progressed to the fully nude although always tasteful.









As I mentioned earlier, Tracy was caught in a salacious story recently when a swinging police officer used his access to a helicopter to spy and film people, a peeping tom at several hundred feet if you will. Sometimes these viewings were by arrangement as in the case of a swinging couple he knew who would have sex in their garden as his helicopter circled.

Tracy however was rather innocently caught in this as she still enjoys nude sunbathing in her garden and from above happened catch our boy in blue's eye, frankly from the pictures below of her still elegant beauty who can blame him for hovering above her as she displayed her magnificent form.





Hope you enjoyed and if anyone has any comments or suggestions for future pictorials feel free to post.

Have fun everyone.
2 Comments
Women I Adore Tribute #1
Posted:Jun 15, 2020 6:15 am
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2020 7:35 am
7458 Views
Welcome all to the first of my pictorials which will feature women I, well frankly just have the hots for, simple as that.

Some well known, some a little off the beat and track, some I have long term admiration for, some will be a passing fancy.

The postings will be in no particular order, except this, my first tribute...to the woman I sort of lost my virginity to, unfortunately she wasn't physically present. In the rather unlikely event she happens to read this 'Thank You Paulette.' or whoever you are?



I was a young lad, a late bloomer, well it was the early 1980s we were all a bit more innocent back then. A friend at school had got hold of a stash of mens magazines and being an entrepreneur was selling them to his fellow classmates. I purchased two, one featured amongst others the delightful Ulla, allegedly a 19 year old Swedish nudist (I suspect the truth may not be quite as glamorous) and the other fateful magazine featuring my beloved Paulette.



For once I couldn't wait to get off to bed, I buried myself under the bedcovers, switched my torch on and with such excitement began to flick through the pages of the two magazines, marvelling at the beautiful women posing both in their fine lingerie and fully nude and reading the erotic stories with growing excitement.



I was of course very aroused and remember how concerned I was when my foreskin retracted below the tip of my penis (ah how naive I was). My attention was always drawn back to the lovely Paulette, her lovely long dark hair, pert breasts and clump of dark pubic hair. It was her bottom I think though that finally sent me over the edge, that so gorgeous little rump, oh those buttocks and that cheeky smile as she looked over her shoulder.



I had been of course stroking my penis and lightly rubbing the tip against the bedsheets producing such wonderful, never before experienced sensations and then...whilst looking at the lovely Paulette...it happened...



An undescribable feeling, my penis appeared to take on a life of its own, it began to writhe in all directions and then those incredible final blissful moments. The ever growing pulsing sensations that had been building up throughout the length of my cock gathered and intensified. I marvelled as I came for the first time, long thick jets of semen erupted from my young balls and out of the engorged purple tip.

I felt so ecstatic when I found a site lovingly devoted to pulling together vintage mens magazines and I found once again, my heart racing, my beloved Paulette who I had not seen for so many decades.

Ah such memories and thank you again Paulette. xxxx

Until next time viewers.
1 comment

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