Red Wine and Ceiling Fans  

IMaySayYes 32F   
3085 posts
9/13/2017 8:42 pm
Red Wine and Ceiling Fans

I poured myself a glass of red wine, and sat on my recliner searching for something to watch on Netflix, hoping to relax. My kitty James began attacking my toes hanging off the edge of the recliner's footrest. The ceiling fan was on, and her attention soon turned from my toes to the tissue box on my coffee table. The top tissue was waving from the ceiling fan breeze, and he jumped on the table and viciously ripped it out, along with several other tissues. The tissues were all moving a bit from the fan, and he began frantically whirling around on the floor from one tissue to the next, shredding them all apart. It was cute, but I put my plans to relax on hold to pick up torn pieces of tissue before it became an unbearable mess.

Tissues cleaned up and tossed, I stuffed the remaining tissues deep inside the box, and sat down again to relax. He climbed up on top of my recliner clawing my boobs on his way up. As I tried to relax, stray hairs on my head became a new target. I got up again, and looked for his favorite toy, a little mouse that squeaks. Finding it, I placed it on the floor, and it occupied him for at least 15 seconds before he was back on top of my chair attacking my hair. I grabbed him and placed him on my lap on his back, and tickled his belly as he clawed and bit me. He's 10 weeks old, still every bit a kitty, and his claws and bites did not hurt, but as cute as he is, this was not relaxing.

A genius idea popped into my head, so I turned the ceiling fan off, went to the kitchen and cut a long length of twine, attached the twine to the ceiling fan, tied the twine to her toy mouse and turned the fan back on. My first mistake was cutting the twine too long, but that was not as big as mistake number two, which was not turning the ceiling fan to a slower speed before turning it back on. The ceiling fan picked up speed, and it took all of 20 seconds for the mouse to knock a painting from the wall, breaking a corner of it's wood frame as it crashed to the ground. I got up, dodging the flying mouse, and pulled the ceiling fan chain to a slower speed. Now, with the ceiling fan much slower, the kitty went absolutely nuts chasing the flying mouse. Between the twine being too long and the kitty frantically chasing the mouse, everything on my coffee table was soon knocked to the floor, including the tissue box. Aroused by all of the action, my 70 lb. slightly retarded German Shepherd decided to join the fray. I was laughing so hard watching my kitty leap on the coffee table and slide completely off it, my dog barreling into the couch so hard he almost knocked it over. I was little worried about my kitty getting trampled by my dog, and they did sort of collide into each other a few times. I was slightly worried about their safety, but they were being playful, it's just that the mouse moved quickly and erratically and their movements mirrored those quick, erratic movements. I reached for my glass of wine, enjoying the chaos, as the mouse came flying toward me. The twine was not quite long enough to reach me, but still, I jumped back startled, and then my kitty came flying after it, jumping into my lap, spilling the red wine onto my fairly new white area rug, the wine glass cracking into several pieces on the hardwood floor. I turned the ceiling fan off, ripped the twine and mouse away, googled how to remove red wine from an area rug, and began cleaning up.

And now, an hour later, I sit here with a small glass of red wine, hoping to watch an episode of Marcella, recommended to me after finishing the Jack Taylor series, staring a pink stain as my kitty attacks my hair.

bigblackman21221 47M  
3888 posts
9/14/2017 10:48 am

cdkathy_1 57M
342 posts
9/14/2017 6:58 am

How funny!!!! You do seem to get yourself into some predicaments.

John324864 69M
711 posts
9/14/2017 4:55 am

Smart kitty....if I were your kitty i would be after your hair......great story.

Lookin4puss2016 45M
45 posts
9/14/2017 4:08 am

very cute

iwant2lickuthere 50M
3304 posts
9/14/2017 2:57 am

Talk about being the opposite of relaxing.

cyberclone 37M
8 posts
9/14/2017 1:23 am


MyBaffies 48M
1626 posts
9/14/2017 12:44 am

That's 5 million views on yootoob right there!


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Lapine_agile 55F  
4 posts
9/13/2017 11:43 pm

I liked Marcella. If you're okay with subtitles (or French), try out Witnesses.

igotplentytogive 42M  
1211 posts
9/13/2017 10:19 pm

Just be glad you don't have cat nip... imagine your kitty, high, chasing after the mouse!

heartshapedcock2 34M  
1534 posts
9/13/2017 10:01 pm

I love red wine, but spilling it does suck. At least you and your critters had fun.

GrowinMyOwn 61M  
48 posts
9/13/2017 9:41 pm

Dye the rug, switch to plastic wine glasses and google Da Bird. Most awesome cat toy ever! Make sure you buy a couple of extra birds when you order it. Trust me.

BiggLala 46F  
21055 posts
9/13/2017 9:37 pm

Salt works great for soaking up red wine on a carpet and it's best to pour it on immediately. Then vacuum up the salt once it absorbs all the liquid. The salt won't get all the color out, but that's where Resolve comes in which should get the rest.

Forgetting to to switch the fan to lower speed is soooo something I'd do.

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rachel0718 52F  
19296 posts
9/13/2017 9:33 pm

Brilliant idea.. Great story telling ...

Rachel Mae

tubbytone 37M
34 posts
9/13/2017 9:23 pm


redrockrascal 59M
16686 posts
9/13/2017 9:15 pm

You're lucky the kitty didn't catch the flying mouse.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

mangia222 54M
145 posts
9/13/2017 8:52 pm


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