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The life & times of Zero Mega
 
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It's my birthday you are allowed to send me penthouse style nudes
Posted:Sep 21, 2017 11:14 pm
Last Updated:Dec 20, 2019 2:07 am
10709 Views

Just kidding but it is my birthday. I don't celebrate the day I came into this world but I'm curious how and why people do it. Is it just a tradition or is it meaningful? And what's this birthday sex I keep hearing about? Is it actually worth the 365 days of waiting? What's your most memorable birthday?
4 Comments
I'm gay candy
Posted:Sep 18, 2017 1:41 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2017 11:22 pm
10791 Views

I am a supporter of the LGBTQ+ community but I'm not a member but it seems like a lot of guys wish I was a part of it. seriously it's like I'm gay candy. it seems every time I get a message on this site it's from a guy who wants me to fuck him. It was funny at first. Like look at this guy, He taking a chance lol. then it got strange. like, Is my profile giving off a vibe? now it's just annoying. don't get me wrong. I don't get many messages period. Maybe around 10 total but out of those 6 of them have been guys. if you're wondering the 4 women weren't interested in me sexually. well one was but she was drunk at the time. That one doesn't count. Drunk girls will hump a fire hydrant while fighting off the neighbors pit bull.

I seen enough man ass to last me the rest of my life. And it's always tricky man ass. because they never put their gender as male it's always female. So you get excited thinking you have a admirer and WHAM! you get slapped in the face with a dude spreading his cheeks. like, WHAT THE HELL MAN, WHAT THE HELL! ! I'm clearly straight. this is not okay. It's also unnecessary. Gay guys have grinder. you can get a dude at your house in 4 minutes. why are you assaulting my eyes right now.

I just remembered this as I was writing but come to think of it. the only time I was offered a blow job was by a guy. I was walking to school and a guy asked me if I wanted a job. I said no, my mom won't let me work because she thinks it will interfere with my education. then he said he wasn't talking about work he was talking about a blow job. I responded with a no so he drove off in his car.

Wow, I always thought that I was boring but the more I think about it the more I realize that I have a strange life. What is it like to be offered a blow job by a girl and not from a creepy guy? to actually have a sex life? I honestly don't know.
3 Comments
I don't know what the fuck to call this...
Posted:Sep 14, 2017 1:44 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2017 11:20 pm
10931 Views

Let's face it male specific sex toys are creepy. You basically got two options. A disembodied vagina or a doll that looks like a kidnap victim and yes, I have used one. It was a disembodied vagina not a kidnap victim. It's actually a funny story and by funny I mean it's like my entire sex life weird and just a little sad. I'm not going to get into it but it involves a bunch of drunk women, a mentally slow next door neighbor and 3 of my family members slapping each other with a purple silicone vagina.

Back on topic, Even though I have used one in the past it's not a experience that I have fond memories of. That being said I'm considering buying one. A fleshlight stamina training unit to be more specific. Why, it's because I'm going to higher a and I don't like sucking at things. That's why I want the stamina unit. I know it's dumb but I've got this thing that fucks with my soul if I'm not good at something that I want to be good at. For example I'm not good at basketball but I bought a 300 dollar basketball training system two weeks ago because I watched an ad online. I haven't played basketball in years. I'm 33 ,I'm not going to play in the NBA or get a college scholarship. The best I can do is be a rec league MVP but the fact that I'm not good has sat in my soul since I was a . Enough for me to spend 300 dollars to get better at a sport I don't even play anymore. And I want to be better at sex than I ever wanted to be at basketball and I still have a future in fucking. As long as I can get it up I can fuck my way to the top. I won't but there's a possibility. 😉

Intellectually I know that no one is good their first time doing anything but tell that to my crazy. Also I have a tendency to be a little hard on myself. Just a little and combine that with the fact that it will fuck with my soul and the lack of opportunities for me to get better. It leads me to overprepare for this.
2 Comments
The end of father's day
Posted:Sep 13, 2017 11:50 pm
Last Updated:Sep 13, 2017 11:58 pm
10246 Views

Well...it had a good run but the time of the year were you gave your dad a tie and maybe took him out for dinner is coming to an end. It started with the End father's day hashtag trending worldwide on Twitter a couple of years ago and now has evolved into special person's day. If you're not familiar special person's day is a day of inclusion that celebrates non traditional families. Oh, and one other thing. It's celebrated on father's on day and is meant to be a replacement for this holiday that excludes of single households, LGBTQ+ families and raised by relatives. Right now it's only being accepted by super left leaning schools in Australia and other ultra progressive circles but eventually it's going to go mainstream and father's day will be fazed out.

This is a obviously a way to get rid of father's day because mother's day isn't going to change at all. It's not even a good reason to change it. You can easily put special person's day on another day but they chose father's day. Like a women wearing white at her friend's wedding everyone knows what's going on. And I feel like this one is going to succeed because this is about or it's being framed that way. And you can't tell people that you can't fight against to have a day feel included.

I don't have because palms can't get pregnant but I would feel like shit if I was.
0 Comments
Look up to the sky tonight...It's going to be so cool
Posted:Sep 8, 2017 2:28 pm
Last Updated:Sep 8, 2017 10:29 pm
10704 Views
The sun gives us light and energy. Without it life would be impossible. Unfortunately if has the ability to kill us all by billions of tons of super heated plasma at us. It's called a CME or Coronal mass ejection. They are rare but they happen randomly. But don't worry we are protected by the earth's magnetic field so we barely notice. But there is one that happens when there's a CME if it's not big enough to exterminate all life on earth. The Northern and Southern lights are seen much futher than usual. And when was the last CME? One happened 2 days. That means that right about now there is charged particles slamming into the magnetic field right now. So for the next couple of days if you live in the northern part of the earth as fat south as Chicago and possibly London and in the south around New Zealand there's a chance that you will see the lights. Depending on how much of the CME hits the magnetic field, weather conditions, and light saturation.

So look up. You might see something so rare it might be your only chance.
2 Comments
Ohh..That's right...girls are soft.
Posted:Sep 7, 2017 10:04 pm
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2017 10:05 pm
10367 Views

I'm a cook, I work in a kitchen all day long with other dudes in tight spaces and once a month I accidentally bump into one of them. Only one female server works there and we don't work on the same shifts. I've never had a girlfriend, don't have any female family members or friends who I'm on hugging terms with not that I do hugs anyway and I never break the touch barrier if I'm chatting up a lady. So my experience witn physical contact with the female gender is extremely limited. Which I never really thought about before because I'm so use to not touching a female body that you subconscious assume they're the same as a male body even though you know that they're different. (I don't know if that makes sense but it's the only way I can describe it )

Anyway, I haven't had skin to skin contact with a girl sense middle school. It wasn't sexual. I tapped on her arm to ask for a pencil. That was about 20 years ago. That was until yesterday. I was riding the bus because I'm doing well for myself. And sometimes you get a terrible bus driver who speeds because bus drivers in Detroit get a hour break everytime they finish their route. So this guy was speeding and all of a sudden slams on the break sending everyone snapping forward. Of course I was on my phone not paying attention and I smashed into this woman in front of me knocking her down. I apologized like a businessman who forgot to pay the mob their protection money and help her to her feet. She was cool about it but I quickly noticed how soft she felt. Which I knew but didn't expect. Which is to say I understood intellectually but wasn't ready for the reality if that makes any sense.

After helping her up I felt like a creep for enjoying the sensation of her body so I stuck my headphones in my ears, turned on the most unsexy song on my playlist which was Slipknot's wait and bleed and stared at the floor until my stop.
2 Comments
HNW: T is for...
Posted:Sep 7, 2017 12:54 am
Last Updated:Sep 7, 2017 12:57 am
8905 Views

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion--
Is nothing new
Flashback--warm nights--
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories,
Time after--

Sometimes you picture me--
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said--
Then you say--go slow--
I fall behind--
The second hand unwinds

If you're lost you can look--and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
Time after time

After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows--you're wondering
If I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time--

If you're lost you can look--and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
Time after time

You said go slow--
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds--

If you're lost you can look--and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
Time after time

Time after time...
Time after time...
Time after time...
Time after time...
1 comment
Should I hire a ?
Posted:Aug 31, 2017 1:36 am
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2017 6:52 pm
12964 Views

I have been vocal about my lack of sexual experience on this blog. Oh and sorry for that by the way. Writing about it is my way to vent my frustration with my lack of progress. This is actually a problem. I'll be 33 in a couple of days and this is about the time that the men in my family start to drop dead. My grandfather died when he was 32 and my father died at 35. And I would like to know what pussy feels like before I drop dead. I would like to try bondage and anal but I'm not gonna push it.

I have this cycle of trying and failing then convincing myself to hire a then talking myself out of it and guess what part of the cycle I'm on now. I always come to this part determined to follow through then tell myself "I'm a solid 5, 6 in a suit and pretty damn charming. I could find a girlfriend. I've seen guys with less do it." But it always comes back to this spot after a couple of months. So in order to hold myself accountable I decided to put it up for a vote. I can't back out if I get enough peer pressure. Or maybe I'll get some confidence from people telling me not to do it. Either way I'll stay decide based on this vote.
Yes, do it. I got nurtured pets that have had more action than you.
No, just keep putting yourself out there and it will happen.
Why would you want me to make a life decision for you weirdo?
9 Comments , 8 votes
HNW: Inner naughtiness
Posted:Aug 30, 2017 10:16 pm
Last Updated:Aug 30, 2017 11:52 pm
8726 Views

(nner naughtiness? WHO (K)nows the i(N)ner w(rking of their o(W)n sexuality? Just when (Y)ou think y(u've Fig(U)red out all your (W)eird little turn ons (A)nd (N)o(T)hing else could ge(T) y(ur (lood to rac(E). (T)ada, you f(nd Anoth(E)r kink (D)eep in yo(U)r subconscious. (P)(A)ss the (N)ightmare of your (D)ad's (F)ace pelling off and revealing yo(U)r ex (C)ac(K)ling, your (E)xtreme fear of porcelain (D)o(ls, and your secret love of
((K)(E) (T)urner even t(H)ough you know h(E)'s an asshole the (G)uy knew h(w to r(ck out on those (D)amn groove(S). (ets be honest yo(U) inner naugh(T)iness is (Y)((U)r (A)ttemp to cove(R) up your d(E)sires. In a attempt to hide the real you
((U)(T) i (T) always t(R)ickles out. (Y)ou reading (T)his ( t(H)(s site is goo(D) (E) maybe even the ((E)st. (G)uy let (M)(E) assure you that this is a place of acceptance (& safety. There (s no reason anyone (M)ale or female needs (nner
nau(G)(H)(T)iness. This is a place of exploration. Now go out their and (FINALLY)(SATISFY)(YOUR)(CRAVING).
1 comment
Virgin Sex Expert
Posted:Aug 28, 2017 10:57 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2017 12:50 am
8396 Views

Whether it's my curious nature mixed with my lack of sex education which consisted of a school assembly telling us the horrors of intercourse before marriage with an abstinence pledge at the end and one sentence of sage advice on sex from my mom when I showed her said abstinence pledge of "If it stank don't fuck it". Or my desire for sex and my fear of looking like an idiot if it ever happened but I have a lot of knowledge about sex. Like too much. So much so that I could write a book on sex and fill it with my useless knowledge.

Honestly, who needs to know what a skene's gland is? F.Y.I It's a gland that helps lube up the vaginal opening and kill bacteria. It's between the urethra and the vagina and can be connected to the clitoral network which is why some people think it's where female ejaculations come from. It's kind of like the female prostate but there's a big debate on if female ejaculations are just urine because the chemical composition is similar but there's no argument about the PSA'S found in the fluid which are only produced by the prostate and the skene's gland. It's location between the urethra and the vaginal opening is why I believe that it is involved with the female ejaculation process because the best method of making a woman squirt is to slide two fingers inside the vagina and pill up. Also as I'm thinkin about this it might be the root of the fabled G spot and the fact that it's sometimes connected to the clitoral network and sometimes isn't is why so many women and couples can't seem to find it but that's just me talking out of my ass.

See what I mean. I'm a 32 year old virgin. Why do I have this knowledge? I've shared some of this before. Like my post about how to give a nipple orgasm. If you don't know it's possible because the same part of a woman's brain is active when you touch her nipples as when you touch her clit but most people don't have the patience or the technical knowledge to make it happen. Pro tip just like the clit you can't just dive on it you have to warm it up if you want her to cum. Focus on her whole breast first then pin point the nipples when she's ready to cum. Give plenty of attention to the 12 o'clock position just above the nipple. Do it for me because I can't. Or don't this is all theoretical for me. There's no such thing as a virgin sex expert.
5 Comments
I watched a clip of Cory in the house on Pornhub
Posted:Aug 28, 2017 12:22 am
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2017 8:46 pm
7622 Views

Cory in the house was a terrible Disney Channel show that ran for 2 seasons in the mid 2000's. It was a spin off of that's so Raven Staring Raven Simón who I have had a crush on since her hangin' with Mr. Cooper days. If you don't know what hangin' with Mr. Cooper is then congratulations you had a sex life in the 90's.

I'm not here to reminisce about old TV shows but watching a PG show on a porn site is indicative of my current feels on porn. I'm done with it. With the millions of clips of various types of sex acts the one thing that interested me most was a clip of Cory in the house. I never watched an episode of that show but with all the tits and ass available I was most excited by a stupid show.

It wasn't always this way. Porn use to be exciting. The first time I watched porn was at my mom's slutty friend's house when I was 12. They left me alone to go out shopping become 12 is old enough not to kill yourself while alone for a couple of hours. And they said that I could watch any movie of hers I wanted. Little did they know that Cunt busters #2 was in the VCR (Not the real title I actually don't remember the real one). Imagine my surprise when I tried to pop in Aladdin. Just realizing what it was made me nervous and afraid. I quickly just popped it back in and caught my breath while I watched whatever was on TV . Although I keep looking at the VCR like it had a coiled snake inside waiting to jump out and kill me. After a while my curiosity got the better of me so with my heart beating out of my chest I pushed play. It was overwhelming. I couldn't deal with the fear and guilt and what I now know is arousal but back then I didn't know what it was. I thought I was dying. So I quickly shut it off. Then I caught my breath and pressed play again and again and again. After a couple of rounds of this cycle of pressing play being overwhelmed and shutting it off. I realized that My mom and her friend are going to come back any second. So I rewound the tape to the initial part and left it there.

Now I've seen thousands of hours of porn and it's just empty. There's barely any arousal. I think this is the end of my sex life.
3 Comments
Is edging while being multi orgasmic a hat on a hat?
Posted:Aug 22, 2017 10:00 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2017 8:45 pm
8908 Views

Hi, I'm zero mega and I can have multiple orgasms. I just can. I never trained myself to do it nor do I take some special supplements it's just something I've somehow learned to do. I thought it was common but apparently it's not.

I can cum and still stay hard as long as I... lets just say keep going. I've never had sex so I can't say if it works the same way with someone else in the room with me but I think it would. Which brings me to edging. I do it in spurts. 4 months here, a couple of weeks there but I hate doing it. Like I said I've never had sex and that means masturbation is my only from of sexual release. So to deny that release is akin to torture but I do it in the highly unlikely scenario that I meet a woman who actually wants to fuck me. I don't want to bust in 5 seconds and waste my moment of glory.

So I was planning on edging and dreading it. Then I realized "Hey, stupid! You're torturing yourself to not bust but you can just keep going afterwards. This is redundant." Yeah, That seems like an obvious thing but I figured that out yesterday. But then I thought maybe it is a good thing to prolong the cumming. Maybe some women will get freaked out by a guy cumming multiple times or assume it's over and throws her our of the mood?

I know most women don't like marathon sex and I rarely get satisfied with one orgasm so building up my stamina would push sex into "where's the lube" territory but I've never been with a woman so I don't know how I would respond. Although this is all a mute point because it's very likely that I'll continue to be an virgin for a very long time.
3 Comments
5 out of 100
Posted:Aug 18, 2017 11:24 pm
Last Updated:Aug 29, 2017 8:46 pm
8304 Views

I was watching one of my favorite YouTube channels named JK news and they were discussing an article about this girl who was set up with this guy by a friend. Although little did she know that this guy had set up 5 more dates 45 minutes apart from various dating sites. So she and the other girls decided to tell the girls the situation and invite them to have drinks with them instead. Great story right but the interesting part was the reaction of the girls discussing the article and the guys. The girls reaction was he's an asshole and good for the girls for making a bad situation a great girls night out. While the guys reaction was, he's an asshole but how did he manage to get six dates in one night? Then one of the male host said something that peaked my interest. On these dating sites 5 out of 100 guys get all the dates while the rest stuggle to get 1 person who is interested in them.

Of course the girls disagreed saying that maybe their approach was the cause of their stuggle but the 5 out of 100 seems to be more accurate in my first hand opinion. But why does this seem to be the case?

Then it hit me. It's the lack of scarcity. Women can be a lot more picky because of the seemingly endless possibilities for a partner. In real life a woman has only a few romantic options and over time those romantic options begin to shrink so she has to compromise or end up with no one but in the digital age there are so many options there is no need for compromise. You can find a guy who is 6'3 with a master's degree, a high paying career, and in great shape. Why would you settle for a guy who is 5'6 with a high school diploma, I shit paying job and who is overweight. So the 5 out of 100 guys get so many messages they are cocky, flakey, or sexually aggressive because they have 100 more messages from girls they can choose from so one woman so upset at them she stops communication isn't a big deal.

Or I could be totally off the mark. Do you think the 5 out of 100 is a valid assessment?
I agree
I don't agree
Don't know/ Don't care
Other factors
2 Comments , 11 votes

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