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| Blogs > Jadefalcon > My Blog |
The not so festive season
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The not so festive season Well it's coming to that time of year again. Christmas, and all that goes with it. I'll make no apologies, this is not my favourite time of the year, it never has been, but come the 2nd of January it will be four years since my Mum died. I know some say you should get over it, but we each deal with things in our own way. This has been a year of contrasts for me. I'm awaiting an appointment for what most likely will be therapy as I've been told I'm suffering from depression. For a time it was really bad. I phoned the Samaritans about a dozens times in a couple of weeks and was seriously thinking in ending it. Recently it's not been so bad but varies from day to day. On the other hand, I believe I've fell in love, but it is, I think, unrequited. I made a friend through my voluntary work, and unfortunately for me, she's spoken for. Her relationship doesn't seem exactly 100%, and without any embarrasment I will say I have really fallen for her. We've become close friends and I think she has changed aspects of my life. I've lost a lot of weight, changed my diet etc. Taken up new interests and so on. It's not just a physical attraction, I find her so easy to relate to, and I'm sure this isn't just a crush. To get back on track though, this is the festive season and I can't stand the overcommercialisation of it. I'm not religious, so it's not that aspect, but tacky stuff round about and overly tacky Christmas songs really get up my goat. I guess I have a "Bah humbug" approach, but what can you do. At least so far I haven't had to put up with any of Cliff Richards "Mistletoe and Wine".....yet. Appreciative of the more mature lady. |
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Well when I first got to know her, my physical health wasn't great, she didn't TELL me to do anything but gave me advice and encouragement. For example I used to drink a lot of fizzy drinks and coffee, I'm now drinking a lot of herbal teas. I've got over 20 boxes of different types in my kitchen. That's the thing, she doesn't tell me to do anything. We go to local art exhibitions together sometimes, something I didn't really have an interest in before but I've found it quite interesting, the company helps of course, ditto with taking walks which is good for my health as well. It's just I feel certain aspects of my life have changed, and for the better since I got to know her. I was quite shy before but feel I can open up with her, and she seems much the same. It's kinda complicated to explain. The voluntary work I do, the shop has went into full christmas mode, tacky decorations and all.  Appreciative of the more mature lady.
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Thing is, I wasn't happy about being larger, I wasn't just larger, but grossly so, to the extent it would be a health problem. I was eating unhealthy more out of habit rather than enjoyment if that makes any sense. It was more when I was in her place she asked if I wanted something to drink and I said yes, she said she had the teas as she didn't drink fizzy drinks or coffee so I tried it, and enjoyed them. There was no pressure involved. Her partner knows about the friendship if that's what you mean. Appreciative of the more mature lady.
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