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My Magazine > Editors Archive > Advice > If Size Matters, How Can You Be Sure?
If Size Matters, How Can You Be Sure?   by Sephera Giron

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Under the name Ariana, Sephera Giron is the author of House Magic: The Good Witch's Guide to Bringing Grace to Your Space (Conari/Red Wheel Books), a book which blends concepts of wishcraft, feng shui and other disciplines to improve home, body and soul. She trained as a tarot counselor for three years with the Society of Metaphysical and Esoteric Studies International, and has received additional training and certificates in Reiki and Touch for Health. Sephera has been reading tarot professionally for over seven years, often under the name Ariana. Access Sephera's skills at her online office: http://www.sff.net/people/seph/horoscope.htm.
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A while back, I read an article on Men.Date - Gay Dating about a woman who wants photos of penises before she meets prospective dates. This was spurred on by the fact that she'd had a rather disappointing sexual encounter after being celibate for a long time. After hanging out in chat rooms, exchanging emails and phone calls and paring down her options from many, she thought she'd carefully chosen the most virile and sizeable of men. But when she met the object of her great expectations, she found they were sadly deflated.

I’ve been thinking a lot about that article, that experience, that woman and other women like her. While studying the Kama Sutra, I realized that the lovely lady in question must be what the sutras refer to as an "elephant." This is a woman, says the wisdom, who needs a "stallion," and sadly, the mate she chose for her disastrous coupling was instead a mere "hare."

How do we know whether our future mate is going to be a hare (3 inches), a bull (4 inches) or a stallion (6 inches)? Some traditions suggest a correlation between size and personality types. For example, hare men are small and lively with a gentle voice and manner; bull men are sturdy with hearty temperaments; and stallions are tall and muscular with a love of adventure.

Well, I think that some of us ladies have met tall men who were no stallions, and short thin men who were very impressive. In spite of the theories about hands, feet and personalities, really, the only true way to tell size is to have a look. Plain and simple. At least, if you can see what you’re getting in advance, it takes the guesswork out of it. (I won’t even get into the argument about it’s not the size that counts, it’s how he uses it combined with his fingers and tongue.) If you know what you're getting, you're going to save both of you from that awkward moment where you try not to go into shock -- be it larger or smaller than the expected dimensions -- as you calculate what you are going to do with that thing.

If you are really prone to this type of dilemma, how oh how can you check out the goods before unpacking the package?

Well, ladies, here it is: Attend a nudist event. This way everything's "out in the open" right from the start.

Now, a real nudist will tell you that being free and naked in a public setting has little to do with sex and picking up people. However, single people are always looking, last I checked, and if you are single at a nudist event, then chances are you will meet other single people. If you are at a nudist event in the first place, that means you already have something in common with your new prospect. You like to be nude.

As someone who has always been pretty comfortable naked, and maybe I’m a bit of an exhibitionist, I find it hard to imagine that most people don’t come home from work and strip down to the bare necessities as soon as they can. When I had children running around, that luxury was gone. But after my divorce, and they were at their father’s house on the weekends, I always walked around naked. I thought most people were that way, wanting to whip off that tight bra and those confining panties and get naked the minute the front door slammed shut behind them, or at the very least, they wanted to sleep in the nude. As I get older and talk more openly about personal habits with other people, I realize that, no, a lot of people keep their clothes on and like them on, even when they are home alone. In fact, some people wouldn’t be caught dead sleeping naked, even after sex.
So it started to make sense to me: if you like it in the raw, what better way to find like-minded "buffs" than at a nudist event.

I attended my very first nudist event in Manhattan on November 11 when I was promoting my new book Mistress of the Dark. Admittedly, I was nervous because even though I’ve worn all sorts of strange outfits to the fetish clubs, this time, there would be no push up bra to hold up my middle aged boobs or corset to cinch in my protruding belly. So not only would I be I attending a nudist event for the first time, but I was going to be on stage for fifteen minutes, reading from my work while everyone stared at my stretch marks!

I arrived with a nudist friend and another friend I was staying with in New York who is from the "don’t even walk around the house naked" club, so she stayed dressed. To make matters worse, we came in a bit late, so almost everyone else had arrived and were seated at tables. After I stripped down, I had several people talk to me, mostly in my capacity as an author.

Everyone was very polite and kind. There were three other readers besides me and all were naked. I felt right at home, sitting at the table in the nude, reading to the naked people in front of me when it was my turn in the spotlight, and even ordering drinks from the bartender at the side of the room. I should say that I wore a shawl wrapped around my waist, since it was my first time and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be naked as the day I was born, in public, without my boyfriend who was home in Toronto.

For those of you unfamiliar with nudist culture, this was no free-for-all sex club weirdness. This was a very polite social gathering that happens about once a month. The club meets at a different restaurant each time, has a meal and an event of some sort and it wraps up around ten so people can go to other functions.

But still, when you go to a nude event, you definitely can see what is being offered. And I'll admit that a few times I had to keep from drooling on the table as some impressive stallions wandered by. I know a few couples who met at nude events, and part of the attraction was that there would be no surprises when they reached home. A man can see what is real on a woman -- stretch marks, natural curves, whether she’s plastic or cinched. He won’t be surprised by push up or padded bras. Both sexes can see what kind of hair situation is going on. Don't like a hairy back? Keep an eye on the rear view. Want a clean-shaven woman from underarms to pubes to legs? Check her out at dinner.

As at most fetish events that I’ve attended over the past ten years, people were courteous, curious, polite and respectful and staring is considered impolite, but I shot off enough furtive glances to discover that the event offered something for everyone in terms of body preferences.

If body type is important to you or if you don’t like surprises and want the real deal, consider going to a nudist event. You will feel relaxed and free and amazed at how easy it is to make conversation, even if for the first time, you feel like the biggest freak on the planet. There’s nothing like being with like-minded people to calm you down. And if you don’t like the experience, you never have to go again. Meanwhile, if you find someone to go home with from the event, at least there will be no surprises.

Kama Sutra body types:

Men

Hare ‒ lingam (penis) is three inches in length when erect
Small body, lively, gentle voice and demeanor
Best match with doe

Bull ‒ four inches in length
Study build, hearty temperament
Best match with mare

Stallion ‒ six inches
Tall, firmly muscled
Best match with elephant

Women

Deer or Doe ‒ yoni (vulva) is narrow and shallow
Slight build, gentle temperament
Best match with hare

Mare ‒ full and sensuous yoni
Sturdy build, adventurous personality
Best match with bull

Elephant ‒ cavernous and deep yoni
Tall, large boned, ruddy complexion
Best match is stallion