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Marty you're drunk as a crow  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
11/19/2017 2:18 pm

Last Read:
11/20/2017 5:00 pm

Marty you're drunk as a crow


I pulled a lady hair off my crotch area today which is puzzling because a lady's hair hasn't been near my crotch in 14 days (which is actually a pretty short amount of time for me) . I can only surmise that said hair made it's way to the crotch back then where it was transferred to the underwear and it somehow managed to stay attached through the wash cycle and then upon being donned again made the jump back to my man zone . I don't shave my junk but I do trim the junkhair so I can't believe it was just hiding out there all this time like it might had I a full pubis .

Speaking of (not really) I was shaving my ass the other day and I thought "Who is this for ? What's the point ? A no one is going to see your ass and B you're gross anyway so even if they did that's not going to help" . My inner monologue is pretty mean , but I've known people who's internal speech is way worse . I wonder what that's about . Is that kind of thinking somehow beneficial evolutionarilywise ? I suppose it's part of risk avoidance - you suck so don't even try . Which was probably helpful back in the day when you were thinking about trying to run away from a dire wolf .

After pulling the lady hair off my balls I headed to the grocery store (drink ! ) where a lady came up to me in the parking lot and kept calling me "Marty" which for the record is not my name . I tried to explain to her that I thought she had me confused with someone else but she plowed ahead like my words meant nothing . She was older but not really in the age where I would expect dementia , but that can happen early in life for some people .

Point is if I had gone along with it and let her think I was Marty and we ended up in bed how immoral would that have been ? Like on a scale of slacking off at work to totally betrayal of all that humanity holds dear ?

I picked up some reprinted newspapers from 1917 a while back and one thing that was interesting was the sheer volume of ads . People (the few who still read the paper) today complain about all the advertisements in newspapers but they don't know how lucky they are by comparison . I wonder how expensive a newspaper would be if they tried to get by just with subscription fees . One thing I can tell you muslin (whatever that is) was big 100 years ago .

$1.95 seems like a great price for a silk shirt but then again people only made 500 bucks a year so maybe not ?

There's an article about a "successful" search for some missing canoeists by which they meant that they found their dead bodies . Which I guess technically is successful but reading that headline I assumed they had been found alive .

The personal ads are pretty entertaining - not the least of which because they exist at all . They are all from men though . One dude says he has a house and a car and he doesn't like dancing but he would be willing to learn . Sounds like a pretty good prospect to me . Another dude was a widower and said that he had waited the requisite year and was no ready for action . I had always heard the year of mourning thing thrown around but I didn't know it was a real thing , certainly not that recently . One fellow mentioned that his girl complained he never has anything to talk about . His solution ? Write to the newspaper and ask them what he she talk to her about . Brilliant ! I imagine him making her sit in the stoop and wait while he drafts the letter and then waits the response in the paper .

I was checking out the CDC website the other day because I was worried I had Dengue Fever again and I noticed they have the yearly death statistics on there , so for course I checked it out .

One interesting factoid is that a certain banned topic that rhymes with schmooicide is twice as likely as murder . And neither is really statistically significant when it comes to the death rate . People are worried about gun violence , and rightly so , but just based on the figures people would be several thousand times more worried about heart disease and cancer . And it's not that people don't care about those things but the proportion is all out of whack . Especially because disease is something that you can do a lot more about .

The root of violence is hard to pin down and even harder to address but we have a much better (not perfect of course) understanding of medical issues .

Another interesting thing is the difference between men and women . Up until about age 8 the death rate is the same (I had always been told that males have higher infant mortality rate) at which point the male rate is higher until around age 24 at which point it switches and the female rate is higher and then they go back to being pretty much the same in the 30s and forward . I wonder why that is . It seems like it kind of makes sense that once you're old enough to run around and do dumb stuff that men would have a better chance of dying but as I just mentioned accidental and violent causes aren't actually very common . I'm sure it could teased out of the figures if you did a deep dive but I was just perusing .

The race/ethnicity differences were exactly what you're expect but I didn't see any breakdown by income . I assume more money = more life but that doesn't mean it's true . I would have liked to seen that codified .

In conclusion while I was picking up leaves today some of my neighbors were loudly pontificating about how we shouldn't have to pay taxes and I decided that maybe we should try that for a while and let people see what a world without any public services would be like . Maybe then everyone would shut the hell up about taxes . Which probably sounds somewhat libertarian of me but it's not . I think that would be a good object lesson also - let the libertarians live in a society where they're depending totally on the kindness of corporations and see how long they think that's a good idea .

Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
11/19/2017 2:19 pm

Joke of the day

"You want to hear a joke about my pussy ? Ah nevermind you won't get it ."

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
11/19/2017 2:40 pm

I think what gets us snowflakes up in arms about gun violence is that it's so much higher in the U.S. than almost all other countries - even though statistically it's much more likely that cancer or heart disease will get us.

Also it's much easier to get scared about a random guy spraying bullets at you at a concert, vs. a disease that you should be changing your health habits to avoid but you're in denial so you don't.

Now I'm picturing you pinning that lady hair on your bulletin board as a souvenir. Nah. I suppose you just threw it out.


40Deuce replies on 11/20/2017 5:01 pm:
That's because USA is #1 !

redmustang91 64M
9760 posts
11/19/2017 3:37 pm

Guns are very efficient at what they are designed to do. About 30,000 shoot themselves yearly according to the CDC in the US. Another 20,000 or so accidentally shoot someone else. The number who use a gun to kill a rattlesnake or a criminal in self defense is very low. People overestimate their abilities to use a gun for good rather than evil. Guns do help the hospitals and doctors to make money and assist undertakers to make extra money.


superbjversion2 68F  
24388 posts
11/19/2017 3:43 pm

If you tend to have lady parts near your man parts less than every 2 weeks, then you're shaving your ass for her.

btw - the guy with a house and a car who's willing to learn to dance? Did you get his number for me?

Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!


40Deuce replies on 11/20/2017 5:02 pm:
Sure but he's probably dead by now , or like 120 years old

Owatalife 67M
1711 posts
11/19/2017 7:13 pm

How can you be drunk as a crow, can't say I've ever heard that term used before & probably for a good reason. I like crows whether they are drunk or sober.


40Deuce replies on 11/20/2017 5:04 pm:
Well as I mentioned I'm pretty sure this lady was not in fully with it mentally

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