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Virtual heat fence  

40Deuce 46M
4633 posts
10/30/2017 6:03 pm

Last Read:
10/31/2017 5:37 pm

Virtual heat fence


So that Pete Gabriel Song "Sledgehammer" , that's about banging right ?

A while back someone said they were quitting blogland forever but then I saw them online the other day and I thought "what are they doing here ?" Then I remembered this is a fucksite where you go to find fuckbuddies not a blogsite . I forget that sometimes .

We had our annual stupid pumpkin decorating contest at work (not carving , if they let people have knives in there it would be a bloodbath) and since I'm leaving soon and have nothing to do I paid a tiny bit more attention than normal and what I noticed that out of the 5-6 pumpkins every department did almost universally 4 of them were the same - Oscar the grouch , a peacock , a candy-corn sea anemone with Nemo and Pennywise the Dancing Clown in a cardboard sewer grate . I assume this is because when you google pumpkin decorate ideas these are the first things that come up .

My first thought was "man the internet is really stifling creativity"

My second thought was "wait , these are dead-eye corporate serfs they have no creativity to stifle"

My third thought was "that's probably not true , they just probably don't care much about a stupid pumpkin carving contest and just participate enough to be part of the program'

My fourth thought was "I bet if you had a good pumpkin idea that would do way more to get the attention of your boss than anything your actual job entails"

It's a tricky thing to gauge though because I would say 97% of the time when I have had to work with people on anything they showed ZERO creativity , at best all they could do is spit out ideas from TV and movies , BUT they probably didn't give 4 shits about what we were doing anyway so it's hard to say if they have to creativity or just weren't trying .

Regardless I find it mildly ironic how many articles on the internet are titled "blank creative ideas for blank" because if you're taking someone else's idea is it still creative ?

Anyway , the company I will soon be leaving forever spends trillions of dollars making little brainwashing tchotchkes that everyone throws away immediately and I noticed today that they all say "for internal use only" . Which is stupid because why would anyone want steal this "intellectual property" but has to be there because they spent trillions on it .

Anyway anyway , although useless for anything that can make a corporate money (other than the media group that makes all this trash , and I guess the people that haul away the trash) I realized one of these things could be applied nicely to making sweet , sweet love to a lady's naughty bits . Such as ;

Loyalty - Keep your customers coming back

AKA - When you're making it sweet do it like you want to see this person again , don't just flip flop slop and hop - leave them wanting more .

Process - Make is easy for the customer

AKA - When your lady show's up for the meat slappin' already be naked and erect and lubed up . Remove all the roadblocks you can up front .

Expectations - Tell the customer what to expect and how long it will take

AKA - About 4 inches , probably like 88 seconds

Conversations - Keep the customer informed

AKA - Dirty talk

Resolutions - Resolve issues quickly and ask for help when needed

AKA - Don't be one of those assholes who takes forever to blast your load , just get it over with so you can watch Netflix . Also don't get all weird if she wants to bring in more dudes on the project , it's all about resolutions .

Transparency - Help the customer stay on top

AKA - Install one of them subway straps above your bed so she doesn't fall off

Performance - Celebrate achievements together

AKA - After the bonin' have some cake , party hats optional . Did I said optional , I meant mandatory .

You know in all the porn I've seen , and I've seen ALOT , I don't think I've ever seen party hat humpin' .

Speaking of , I was sorting through my porn the other day and I came across Strappin' White Boys #4 and it got me to wondering . Most women probably wouldn't do porn , the kind where they get fucked I mean , no matter how bad their financial situation is ; but I wondered if they were just strapping a dude how many that would bring across the line . Especially if they could wear a mask . It seems like that could sway a goodly number to make that move but perhaps I am being a jerkass man as per usual .

I was chatting about this with my buddy Erica today and she said something about how men would do porn at the drop of a hat , which isn't quite true , but I said to her I said "You're thinking about it the wrong way , the conundrum a woman faces of doing porn for money would be more like a straight-man doing gay porn for money I think ." For some reason she found this really offensive . I couldn't figure out why .

That was a classic lady move though "Well if you don't know why I'm mad I'm not going to tell you !"

I wonder how often that means they're not sure why they're mad , they just are .

Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
10/30/2017 6:04 pm

What are the odds there's a Fuckbuddies Podcast ? For that matter why doesn't Men.Date - Gay Dating have a podcast ? I should start it . Who wants to co-host ?

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


mufdiver69er2 63M  
1953 posts
10/30/2017 6:26 pm

poster boy for add..hooyah!!

woop woop


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
10/30/2017 7:18 pm

Also, that whole "for internal use only" thing could have a second meaning if the tchotke was dildo shaped.


40Deuce replies on 10/31/2017 5:40 pm:
That's like something I would think - what's happening to you SAW ?

iwalkstilts 48M
2869 posts
10/30/2017 8:47 pm

Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me I gotta carve a pumpkin.


40Deuce replies on 10/31/2017 5:40 pm:
NP

foz19504 69M
1657 posts
10/31/2017 5:55 am

Erica is mad because you didn't give her cake and a party hat.


40Deuce replies on 10/31/2017 5:41 pm:
That's fair

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